You are the only thing standing between you and your dreams. You may think its money or time or resources or connections but really it is just your ideas about those things that keep you where you are.
When you decide to make a change in your life often one of the first things that pop up is self doubt. We doubt ourselves because we are trying something new or stepping outside of our comfort zones.
As we work to change ourselves our stories about who we are and what we are capable of get challenged. Putting us in a position to either challenge our stories and beliefs or to continue to believe them and remain feeling stuck and unsure.
Here are five things you can put into practice that will help you put an stop to getting in your own way & self sabotaging behavior.
Without Commitment Nothing in Our Lives Change
We continue down the same path we have been on. We think about making changes, we make excuses for why we haven’t made changes yet, and we stay stuck, frustrated, and unhappy.
Commit & take a stand for yourself and for the life you are working to create. Grab your journal and start writing about what things you are wanting to change in your life and the commitments you want to make. I find that writing things down tend to help people get clear on what they are wanting to achieve.
To take this a step farther, write out your goals and make sure to have an end date or due date for when you want to have them accomplished by. Then place them somewhere where you will see them daily. When you see your goals daily you are much more likely to take action and achieve them.
Hold Yourself Accountable for Your Actions & Achieving Your Goals
This could mean sharing you goals with a trusted friend or family member, so that they can check in with you and help hold you accountable. If you decide to go this route you want to be careful that you select someone who wants to see you do your best and create your dream life.
You want this person to be supportive and helpful on your journey, but the opposite can happen if you choose someone who is feeling stuck themselves and just wants to see things stay the same. Trust me I have made this mistake. I choose a friend who said they were on the same journey as I was but they were really not as committed as I was. They ended up being a road bump in my journey, that I am hoping you can avoid.
Another route you can take is to hire a coach. This can be a great option because your coach will be able to offer objective advice and hold you accountable while offering support you most likely wont be able to get from a friend. A coach will not be triggered by you making positive changes in your life like a friend might. It is also likely have been through what you are going through and can offer helpful guidance, and help you to avoid the pitfalls they suffered themselves.
Hiring my first coach was one of the best investments I have made in myself. It was amazing having a second set of eyes to go over everything with and they were able to see things, that I were in my blind spots. I believe that coaching is a great way to accelerate growth in any area of your life, and it is a great form of accountability.
Develop a Belief in Yourself
Believing in yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. Developing this mindset is a powerful weapon you can deploy against self sabotage.
Affirmations are a great way to help you build belief in yourself. They work to replace negative and harmful beliefs with positive ones. I have used affirmations for over ten years and have always seen amazing results for myself and my clients.
Here are some of my favorites:
The Universe is filled with endless possibility & opportunity
I Am Enough
I Trust The Timing of My Life, Everything Happens For My Best Interest.
I am Strong, Capable, & Hardworking
I Can Achieve Anything I Put My Mind To
Examine your Beliefs & Stories
Our beliefs and stories and the things that shape our lives. If we have stories and beliefs that are negatively impacting our lives, they will continue to do so until we work to change them.
For a very long time I carried the story that I was not good enough. Because I believed this story, I was constantly dating men who were wrong for me. I was even in a relationship where I was verbally abused and constantly belittled. I finally left this toxic relationship after I decided to examine my stories and beliefs. And this is only one example, I have hundreds and hundreds of them from my own life and my clients lives.
I promise you doing this will help you stop self sabotaging yourself and it will help you start creating the life you are dreaming of having.
What are the stories and beliefs that are keeping me stuck?
What do I believe is possible for my life?
What do I believe is not possible?
What are the things I tell myself about who I am?
What have other people told me about who I am that I have internalized and now believe?
Get into Action
There is nothing like taking action to put an end to self sabotage. Taking action not only will help move you forward on your journey but it will also help you to build belief in yourself.
Taking action will also help you to stop second guessing yourself. Because your actions will yield real tangible results. Instead of obsessing over what could or might happen. Taking action helps you get out of your head.
Trust me I am a recovering perfectionist! I can’t even begin to count the hours I have spent thinking about what direction I should take. Thinking about and weighing all of the options in my head, running through all of the possible scenarios and outcomes for one possible situation. But all of that thinking never got me anywhere. In fact it kept me from taking action.
Taking action has been the only thing that has gotten me the results I want in my life. So, if you are thinking about wanting to change your life, or wanting to start a business, or wanting to find love, stop thinking about it and start taking action!